


Just Cry Already

by brangelina_of_the_gallaghers



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Spooning, slightly OOC
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-01
Updated: 2016-11-01
Packaged: 2018-08-28 05:31:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,085
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8433640
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brangelina_of_the_gallaghers/pseuds/brangelina_of_the_gallaghers
Summary: Robert takes some time to think about his past and reflects on the enormity of saving Aaron's life. AKA - the boys have a much-needed talk (Set the night Aaron is released from the hospital.)





	

**Author's Note:**

> Not sure where this came from.

"You awake?" Robert whispered.

"Yeah," Aaron responded quietly, too comfortable on their soft mattress. He'd not been out of the hospital long and was cherishing his lie-down after being stuck in the creaky, hard bed on the ward. 

"I've been thinking." The blond rolled over to face Aaron, still a little hesitant to get too close.

"Sounds dangerous." The younger muttered the cliche. 

"Tell me if this is stupid or I'm wrong or it's immoral to think it but I just need to know." He scratched the back of his head awkwardly. 

"Okay." Pain could be seen spreading across his face as Aaron rolled over with a groan. 

"I can't help but wonder if- if saving you kind of-" He cut himself off and rolled back onto his back. "Ignore me. It doesn't matter."

"No, come on." He reached across and softly rested a hand on his fiance's arm. "Tell me what you're thinking."

"Well, I saved your life."

"I knew you'd never let me live that down." Aaron laughed with a sympathetic smile. 

"This isn't me rubbing it in."

"Then what's up?"

"I've been thinking about Katie." He admitted with reluctance.

"Don't do this to yourself, Rob. You're not that guy anymore."

"I know. And I'm still trying to change for the better. But she'll never be out of my mind. I think about it every day. I can still see her cold, dead face. And, foolishly, I thought that maybe saving your life might make up for it. One life for another or some rubbish like that. Do you think it could ever even out or am I an idiot for thinking saving your life could justify how many lives I've wrecked? Am I just too selfish?"

"You're not an idiot and you're not selfish for saving me. You're amazing. Maybe me living doesn't make up for the fact Katie died but it shows you're a good man. Your heart is in the right place. I know you'd never intentionally kill someone, you're too good for that." Aaron's thumb ran soothing lines down the blond's cheek. "So, yeah, Katie _is_  dead and no amount of good deeds will change that, but that doesn't mean you've not changed. It doesn't mean that it should always haunt you. You can't go back and un-kill her so don't dwell on it. It's tragic and violent but it's over. And you've saved my life twice now, more times maybe. You've saved more than most people."

"But she's still dead and I wish- I just _wish_ that I could forgive myself. I wish saving you made me feel better about it."

"It'll get better. You deserve to be happy." Aaron smiled, mirroring Robert's words from the trial. "And I'm _definitely_ selfish. I'm so grateful that you saved me. I literally would have died without you. A lot of people would have left when I asked. A lot of people wouldn't have risked their life and pulled me out of there. But you did. You were brave enough and caring enough. You're so _so_ selfless. And you went back for Lachlan, too. You wanted to save his life, no matter how much he made your life Hell. You didn't want to let someone else die. How can you think you're selfish? How could you think you've wrecked too many lives?" 

Robert bit his lip, trying to hold back the tears that threatened to fall. "I just want to forget."

"It's one of those things you can't forget. Believe me, I know. But trying to forgive yourself will really help numb the pain. So remember all the good you've done. Remember you're a lifesaver and you're a good man, and forgive yourself for her death."

"Do you still think about her?" Robert cleared his throat.

"Not as much as I used to. Got too much other stuff to think about, haven't I?"

"Sorry, you don't need to hear my problems when you've got your own."

"I take it back. You _are_ an idiot." The younger man laughed. "Robert, you're my  _fiance._  You're meant to talk to me. Your problems are my problems, right? 'til death do us part."

"I just don't want to seem too... I don't know. Needy? Pathetic? A charity case?"

"If you're all those things, what am I? You've helped me through so much and when have I ever helped you? I have so much wrong with me and you help me like it's second nature. You just never confide in me like I do you. You know you can tell me anything."

"I know. But I don't want to be a pain. I want you to be happy, not add to your problems."

"Well, I want you to add to my problems. I want you to show me other people have messed up lives, too." He chuckled endearingly.  

"I definitely have a messed up life. A therapist would surely have a field day with me." The blond gave a half smile.

"Maybe you should think about coming with me when I go see mine next week. It could help us both."

"Yeah. Just- just let me think about it, yeah?"

"'course. I can't force you to do anything. But if you don't want to talk to her, at least talk to me."

"Maybe tomorrow. For now, can we just go to sleep? It's been a long day."

"Yeah, tomorrow." Aaron shuffled a little closer and Robert instinctively rolled further away. "I'm not going to break, Rob. They wouldn't have let me out if spooning with my fiance could send me back to the hospital." The blond nodded but didn't move. "Seriously, just come here and keep me warm. I missed you while I was in that bed; even if you were only a few feet away." 

"I missed you, too," Robert whispered, still holding back the tears. The two gravitated towards each other, cherishing the shared body heat. Aaron closed the last few inches and pressed their lips together. It was a hard, hot, driving kiss; a nip of the lower lip and a clash of tongues and teeth, both of them pressing as hard as they could to get close, closer than ever before. But the blond pulled back before anything got too heated, they both knew Aaron's body wasn't up to it yet. He wrapped his arms softly around the man and blinked back the tears once more. 

"And Rob?" Aaron muttered, engulfed and content by his fiance's body. 

"Yeah."

"Would just cry already?"

**Author's Note:**

> They really need to talk. I'd just love something like this to happen canonically. 
> 
> Comments and kudos welcome as always. I have a few more Robron mini-fics in my drafts and I'll hopefully finished them off soon - I just need some motivation.


End file.
